Watching The CW

Once again, I force myself to sit through Farmer Wants a Wife. As I sit here, I wonder, is anyone else watching this show? Will anyone even read my review? Does my life have meaning? OK, maybe not that, but I do have to think of something while watching this show, or my brain will dissolve and dribble out of my ears.

I’ve been trying to decide who I want to win this thing. Of the six girls left, Kanisha seems the most genuine. Amanda, Ashley and Christa are like the mean girls. They definitely aren’t people I’d want to deal with myself. Brooke and Lisa are portrayed as pretty phony and so that just leaves Kanisha. Except that I just don’t like her, cause she’s annoying. Is there a money prize, too? Or is it just about the farmer?

They start out this week shearing sheep. I’d be afraid of one of these chicks hurting a poor little sheep, if I was Matt. I know I would never do it. Ever. Never, ever. Ashley showed more personality than she has before, but as it turns out, she’s crude.

Next, Matt sends them out to see Miss Donna so they can learn to bake pies. Matt’s favorite is apple pie a la mode. Mine, too, coincidentally. Now this is one contest I wouldn’t mind. I’m not the world’s best baker, but I am a good cook, and I make thousands and thousands of cookies for weddings and stuff. So the girls have to bake pies that are going to be judged at the fair. Whoever wins is “sitting pretty.” I have had my problems with pie crust in the past, but I’m definitely capable. Of course, I’m older than these chicks. But I could bake and cook when I was even younger than they are now.

Just watching this is making me want to bake a pie. I’m thinking custard or coconut cream.

Matt comes over that night and they start playing a drinking game. Matt goes around and asks the girls if they are ready to get married. He called Christa “sweetie,” which made me want to vomit. Then Ashley used some bad language and Matt called her behavior inappropriate. I think she might go home soon.

My husband came in the room briefly and stopped to look at the “hot chicks.” After about 2 minutes he walked away, cause they were “so annoying.” So tell me, how long will Matt be able to deal with them.

Off to the fair the next day and Matt wins some prizes for the girls. Well, actually, he wins a teddy bear that goes to Brooke, who has received all the other prizes so far.

You know what I’m noticing, more and more? That Brooke kinda looks like Britney Spears. What do you think?

At the pie judging, the winner is Amanda, which gives her immunity. Now Ashley is even more worried about her drunken behavior in front of Matt. The girls then get introduced to Matt’s family, his mom, dad and sister. Most of the girls showed some interest, except for Lisa, who seemed to hang off to the back of the bunch. They then do all sort of silly fair stuff, like the dunk tank and the kissing booth. All the girls kiss Matt except for Brooke, who will only kiss him on the cheek. It makes me wonder if that will intrigue him more than the others. I mean, she could just be being a “good” girl.

At elimination, they get to find out who is leaving, because that person’s name will be up in lights. Huh. I know I’d want to be humiliated in front of a crowd at the fair that way. Both Ashley and Lisa think it’s going to be them, and one of them is right. It’s Lisa.

Now its time for the date and the only two left that Matt hasn’t been on a date with yet are Ashley and Brooke. He picks Ashley, because he wants to learn more about her. It also makes me think that Brooke is gonna be around for a while. If I had to guess, I’d say Brooke, Christa and Kenisha will be the last three standing, but maybe he’ll fall madly in love with Ashley on their date.

For the date, Matt picks up Ashley in an old black Ford convertible (I think it was a Thunderbird, maybe), driven by one of his buddies. Matt takes her out to dinner, and tells her that she comes across as being more mature than the other girls, except for the other night. She apologizes, with an excuse that made no sense to me. Something like she has to be the mommy with the girls and she just ended up letting her frustrations out. Um, so when you get drunk you get raunchy and that’s a stress reliever? Anyway, there’s no great chemistry between them, so I’d be OK to see the end of her next week. But just watch, she’ll win immunity next week instead.

Actually, now that I think about it, this is a pretty silly system isn’t it? Cause you might want someone to go, but they might get immunity and then you have to keep them. But honestly, I don’t care that much.