Watching The CW

There’s another new show full of interchangeably random chicks. It’s Farmer Wants a Wife. I have to watch this with the volume turned way down, cause my husband would flip out. He hates all reality TV and thinks I already watch too much as it is. I really had no intention of watching this show, but since I was already DVRing at least a dozen shows while I was out of town, I figured I’d record the first ep of this show, too.

So here I find myself watching these city girls looking to find love with a country man. (”You are my wife, goodbye city life.”) I watch these little girls and I wonder if I was ever that shallow. I guess I’m really old fashioned, but chicks in their early 20’s just aren’t grown ups in my book. I’m just amazed by how they can be so immature and think they are adults, all at the same time. I guess I’d call it socially adult as opposed to emotionally immature. I must say that none of these chicks is as cute as some of the chicks on other shows, like Beauty and the Geek or The Bachelor. They are all pretty average looking, actually. But then he’s not that cute either. If I decide to keep watching, I’ll learn their names, but until then, probably not. Interestingly, we find out at least a couple of them are virgins, especially since I was still reeling from their overall loose morals and lack of character.

So they take a look around the farm and first they get to hold chickens, then feed the cows. Some of them are afraid of the birds and flip out over stepping in cow poop in high heels. The next day they are woken up at 5 am, by a rooster, which apparently at least one girl thought were not real creatures.

First up they have a challenge. Whoever coops up the most chickens is safe from elimination. One girl - a fat, pushy, annoying chick named Josie who thinks she’s all that - refuses to chase around after chickens, because that’s not how a lady behaves. Believe me when I say this chick wouldn’t know a lady if one was kicking her in the head. Two of the girls end up with 10 chickens a piece, so the farmer (who must have name, but I don’t care enough to find it out) proposes a “coop off”, with 7 more coops to be filled. The chick who wins is kinda annoying, so I wasn’t happy.

Next they go on a hay ride and he chats with each girl, asking them about themselves. It’s not an experience I want to relive here.

Then we have the elimination. So he has them all stand behind a chicken coop. Whoever doesn’t have an egg under their chicken is going home. I would have voted for Josie or Stephanie. Josie is annoying and Stephanie just didn’t really seem to fit into the farming lifestyle. Well, it was Stephanie, which was OK. I wish he could have gotten rid of two of them, though.

Next, the farmer picks one of the girls to go on a date with. I’m not sure these chicks really understand what the term date means to someone who lives on a farm, but we’ll see. The chick he picked has at least a couple of piercings, and they look weird, even on my big screen TV, the earrings look like big zits or moles. While he is on the date - a bench set up under a canopy with candles and mint juleps - some of the other girls get caught toilet papering his truck. He does kiss his date chick, like three times, but it was just pecks, not real kisses.

Honestly, the show just seemed to go on much too long.