Watching The CW

This blog was written a week ago to be posted after the finale of Farmer Wants a Wife aired. Unfortunately, 451 Press was having some server issues and I was unable to post it sooner. I apologise.

So here we are at the finale of Farmer Wants a Wife. First up, they do a little recap of the previous eliminations. Christa and Brooke obviously don’t like each other, and Christa points out that they couldn’t be more different, which is true, so you gotta wonder what he’s thinking picking these two.

Matt starts them out with a list of farmer’s wife activities - some of it is weird stuff - that each one has to do today while he is at work. Brooke has to bring the chickens somewhere and pick up pies, Christa has to pick up a carburetor or something like that for Matt and pay his tab at the store. Christa does a little shopping while she is at the store. She asks for condoms and if there are any sex shops around there. There are not. She thinks she’s bring spice to the country. I think she means skankiness.

Some of the chores were a little gross, like Christa had to carry a dead deer head to be mounted. I could not do that. No man would be worth that. Seriously.

Brooke gets stuck behind a slow moving train and Christa beats her back to the house. Matt is almost starting to look cuter, except for that silly little goatee thingy. Matt has made lunch for them. I can’t imagine the tension at that table.

Matt is taking them each on a date. He tells Brooke he will pick her up in 30 minutes and to be very, very casual. He tells Christa he will pick her up at 7 pm and she should dress a little more formally. Of course, Brooke is thinking that he thinks she is just a fun friend-girl, and that Christa is the more datable chick. Christa is thinking that she has four hours to get ready so she’ll look so much better than Brooke.

Matt and Brooke go four wheeling, which looks like fun, and have a picnic meal. Matt wants Brooke to be less reserved so he can really get to know her. Brooke wants to tell him she loves him, but she is afraid of the rejection. I say, if you’re gonna do it, now is the time. She thinks she totally blew it, and I think so, too.

Matt picks up Christa in a horse drawn carriage for a romantic date. He calls her “princess” and he is wearing the sunglasses she bought him earlier. I was so hoping he would not pick Christa, but I’m afraid he is going to. But maybe that’s just what they want us to think.

Matt takes Christa to his house, which has deer heads on the wall, and lots of dead animal rugs. Yuck! Christa thinks so, too. They have a lovely dinner on the back porch out under the stars. I actually had to go back and rewind, since I realized that Matt and Christa were talking and talking, and I had no idea what they were saying. They discussed what their concerns were, Christa is wondering what she will do for a living there (I guess there isn’t a big call for hookers), and Matt is worried cause she beat him at fishing. He really seems to like her a lot. Why are men so stupid? She’s so phony and catty. Then they make out a while, and then Matt says he has to get her back home. They just don’t seem to be able to stop kissing, but I think its mostly cause Christa is a kiss slut.

Brooke is so depressed and pretty sure that she’s not going to be the one, that I am now starting to wonder if it could really be that obvious.

Just looking at their profiles, Brooke comes across as so much nicer and more real. Brooke puts her faith first in her life, Christa wants to hit every bar in New York City. Yikes!

So now the entire town has turned out to see who Matt picks. He tells them by tonight, someone will be going back to the city and someone will be going home with him. Um, Matt, aren’t you going to wait until after the wedding for that? Matt gets up on the platform, and talks about the girls. How fun “Miss B” is and how she wins all the challenges, how Christa is so spunky and ready to do it at any time. Yep, we know that. Then he corrects himself when people start to laugh, and says ready to have a blast at any time.

Matt chooses to announce his decision by having a crop duster fly over with a banner proclaiming the chosen girl’s name. Both girls are so nervous. So is Matt. I’m just ready for this to be over.

Here comes the plane . . . and the Farmer has chosen . . . (drum roll, please) . . . Matt hearts Brooke! Wow, I’m so glad. Then comes the uncomfortable part, where Matt has to say goodbye to Christa on the platform in front of everyone, while she cries. Then Brooke and Christa hug.

Matt says he felt a connection to Christa, but he felt love for Brooke. Matt and Brooke ride off down the road on a tractor with tin cans tied on the back. And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.