Watching The CW

Only six girls are left on America’s Next Top Model, and they are headed to Rome. I’m really glad to see that one of them is the “plus-sized” model, cause I don’t think any other plus sized person has made it so far before. Well, as I’m watching, Whitney says someone else plus-sized also made it this far. Maybe I’ll investigate. Later.

I don’t have a lot of time this week, so my review is gonna pretty much just stick to the facts.

So watching the show, Lauren is being loud and Fatima is being sick. But I don’t see Dominique being annoying. Apparently, even the camera people are tired of her.

First the girls go on a little rolling tour of Italian fashion. Didn’t those little carts look like fun? Then they get dressed up in Italian fashion and walk for some famous designer, Gai Mattiolo. Lauren has still not learned to walk. Once again, Anya won the challenge. Why does everyone like her so much?

Next, they have to do a Cover Girl commercial in Italian. This is always fun. Except when you have to watch it. I have to agree that Fatima was the best and I feel sorry for her cause she was sick and I thought she was gonna use that to excuse herself. But she didn’t.

On to panel, they were called in this order: Fatima, Katarzyna, Anya, Dominique. So the final two were Lauren and Whitney.

I was worried that Whitney would be going home, but I was glad that it was Lauren, cause she was getting on my nerves a bit. I was still wishing it could have been Dominique. Well, there’s always next week.

This week’s Beauty and the Geek is a review special. I’m not sure why these reality shows think they have to stop all the action in the middle to make us re-live stuff we’ve already seen, but they do.

I’m not even sure I want to watch it, but apparently there are a couple of surprises. Like Tommy laying in bed with three of the beauties, and, maybe, actually having sex with Amber. Maybe.

Next, they showed some of the spats between the chicks. Bored now. Moving on, they are showing interaction with geeks. Let’s just keep moving, shall we?

After a commercial break, showing an ad for that new reality show, Farmer Wants a Wife (which I will definitely, probably not be watching), and an ad for a “shocking” TMZ report about American Idol treating some contestants unfairly (oh, really?), we get to back to more geeky shenanigans.

But before we get there, I had to go check out TMZ. They are talking about an article written by Carmen Rasmussen (a season 2 Idol), who complained that she lost out to contestants that had more time with the mentors than she did. I already saw that, and it wasn’t that interesting the first time, but I have some real issues with Idol. You can read my review of last night here. While I was on TMZ, I also saw something about Lorenzo Lamas’s ex-wives and how they all look like they’ve cornered the market on plastic surgery gone bad. I believe I already mentioned something about that as well.

So, back to beauties and geeks. Back to some montages of Joe being gross, geeks dancing around, beauties giggling, Greg crying, beauties being stupid, etc., etc.

They do show the one makeover I was hoping for, Jim’s, which is the only reason I’m glad I gave up an hour of my life to watch this special. He really needed it and I thought he might end up looking good. And wow, he wasn’t even recognizable. I’m really happy for him, cause he looks good and maybe that will give him more confidence.

The end the show with a little preview of the last three episodes. You don’t want to miss it. Or do you?

So here’s the deal, I was finally starting to keep the chicks straight on American Idol and America’s Next Top Model, and then I started watching Beauty and the Geek and The Bachelor. Not only was I completely confused as to who was who and which show they were on, I also found myself wondering something. Where do all these skinny brainless chicks come from anyway? Are they just churned out at a factory somewhere?

In any case, last night on The Bachelor was the part that starts to get interesting. They had home dates with the final four girls. Now, I’m finally willing to invest the time to learn their names. Last week, two women were eliminated, one was a psycho chick and the other thought she was America’s Next Top Model, so I was glad to lose them. So that left the four women who’s homes he visited. Don’t ask me where they all lived, though, cause I didn’t care enough to try to remember that. The chicks were Shayne, an “actress” who is the daughter of actor Lorenzo Lamas. I put the word actress in quotes, because I’m fairly certain her acting credits to this point have consisted of high school stage productions. In any case, Matt, this year’s British Bachelor, seems to really like her, even though I think she’s kinda young for him, 22 to his 27. Look, I’d be the first to admit that age is just a number, but trust me when I say that this kid is not the most emotionally mature person you’re ever gonna meet. But she is really, really hot. Plus, she has a family involved in acting, and my friend Sandy tells me that the word on the street is that this guy only agreed to do the show because he wants to be an actor. (Sandy is a great cyber researcher, and for “researcher,” you can read “stalker.”) So he may end up with Shayne. Personally, after the home visit, I would have run screaming, cause although Lorenzo has held up well over the years, and you can still just see the young boy who played the other love interest for Olivia Newton-John’s Sandy on Grease, Shayne’s mother has had one too many trips to the cutting table. Her face is just all weird and her mouth . . . it’s hard to describe . . . it sorta takes over half her face in an unnatural way, with a dark purply outline, but pale, pasty pink lips. I was scared.

Matt also visited the homes of the three other young ladies (I use that term pretty loosely here), Amanda, Chelsea and Noelle. Of those three, probably the most normal was Noelle, with nice parents, and two sisters, who all apparently live on a farm or somewhere with horses. Of course, he doesn’t choose her.

Chelsea, 25, to me is just sorta loud and obnoxious, and yet manages to hide any type of emotional connection. They both keep saying how great they are together, but I don’t see it. Her family did seem nice, though.

Finally, we have Amanda, 27. Amanda thought it would be a real hoot to hire actors to play her parents, and be as weird and annoying as possible. Her ersatz mother played a drunken slut who laughed inappropriately and made several passes at Matt. The father was just kinda rude. Finally, he walks in on Matt and the mother, who is all over Matt, and demands to know what’s going on. I was wondering the same thing. Why would Amanda waste so much of her time with Matt on something so silly. So, long after the rest of us have had enough, Amanda calls it quits and tells Matt she was pulling a practical joke on him. Ha ha. Yikes. Then he gets to meet her real family, but fortunately we really don’t have to sit through too much of that. If it was my choice, I’d have gotten rid of Amanda, just for that, but Matt clearly has a different sense of humor than me.

Next week, Matt takes the three remaining chicks for some fun in the sun in Barbados. I, for one, just can’t wait.

Lots of shows that I’ve been waiting for start up again this week. Well, to be honest, a couple started last week, like Bones, which is airing on Mondays at 8 pm ET on Fox, and Law & Order: SVU on NBC at 10 pm ET. There were 6 new eps of Bones and 5 of SVU. Actually, last week’s ep of SVU was one of the most disturbing I’ve seen in a long time.

So here is my TV schedule for this week (all times are ET):

Monday
Big Bang Theory - CBS - 8 pm
Bones - Fox - 8 pm
House - Fox - 9 pm (4 new eps start 4/28)
The Bachelor - ABC - 10 pm

Tuesday
American Idol - Fox - 8 pm
Beauty and the Geek - CW - 8 pm
Hell’s Kitchen - Fox - 9 pm
Reaper - CW - 9 pm (5 new eps)
Law and Order: SVU - NBC - 10 pm

Wednesday
America’s Next Top Model - CW - 8 pm
Back To You - Fox - 8:30 pm
American Idol - Fox - 9 pm

Thursday
Supernatural - CW - 9 pm (4 new eps)
Lost - ABC - 10 pm (5 new eps)

Friday
Sarah Jane Adventures - SciFi - 8 pm (new eps to air in US)
Doctor Who - SciFi - 9 pm (new eps to air in US)
Moonlight - CBS - 9 pm (4 new episodes)

Obviously, I’m gonna be pretty busy this week. Thank goodness for DVR.

On America’s Next Top Model we’re up to the last 7 girls. Which puts them in the same week as American Idol who also went from 7 to 6 last night. I wonder why I never made that connection in all these weeks.

Whitney pointed out that as a plus sized model, she’s still there. It makes me wonder how long any other plus sized model lasted in other cycles of the show. I may have to check that out.

So Fatima isn’t an American? How do these people get on these shows? This is America’s Next Top Model. I’m sorry, shouldn’t only people who are American get to compete? I’m not saying they have to have been born here, I just mean they should be actual citizens at the point in time they try out.

This week Paula teaches the girls to make conversation. Or she tries to. Some of them are so awkward. I know, they are young.

So then the girls decide to cook. And, of course, Lauren cuts her thumb. She’ll live. Meanwhile, Fatima may not be able to leave the country with the rest of girls and so maybe forfeited out of the competition. OK, didn’t she ever see this show before? Didn’t she know they always go overseas? And what about the producers, didn’t they know?

Then the chicks get to go to a “green” carpet event hosted by 7-up. The girls wear Jay Godfrey dresses (really pretty!) and get to talk to a reporter from The Insider. The best part for me was when Dominique said “Jay Giorgio” when they asked her what she was wearing. I love it when she does something stupid, because she’s so arrogant. Also a plus was when Lauren said she could “kick the ___ out of those girls anytime” (that’s how they showed it, so use your imagination) cause it was fun. And for the first time, Stacy Ann got to show that she thinks a heck of a lot of herself as well.

Anya won the competition, which surprised me, cause she’s not one of girls I like that much. She’s OK, I just don’t really get her. She got paid $10,000 for doing a shoot for 7-up. So that was cool.

Then there was a commercial where Saleisha talks about voting. She tells us she’s never voted before, but now that she’s a role model, she has to vote and tell people about voting. I don’t get that. But I’m someone who has voted, since the age of 18, in every single election she could, including primaries. I mean, why wouldn’t someone vote? Especially, since women had to fight so hard to get that right.

The photo shoot this week is them all running to catch their plane. Fatima, in the meantime, had to leave to go deal with her travel documents, so she’s missing the shoot. She does get the papers she needs, but doesn’t get back to the shoot in time. Watching the girls in the shoot, it does seem like they are all trying too hard. They come right from the shoot into panel and an elimination. From here, they are actually leaving to go abroad.

I think this is the first cycle they don’t all go overseas and then send someone right back home from there. I guess it saves money.

Tyra does tell Fatima that as a result of missing the photo shoot, she could get eliminated. But I thought they were also pretty hard on Stacy Ann and Whitney. I’m also wondering if they are really going overseas? Since they keep talking about going away sort of tongue in cheek, it makes me think something might be up.

Into eliminations. The first person called was Anya, which is no surprise. Then, Lauren, Dominique, Katarzyna, Whitney (yes!! I was worried). The bottom 2 are Fatima and Stacy Ann.

In the end, the judges felt that Fatima had a better body of work than Stacy Ann, and that Stacy Ann had grown as much as she was going to, so Fatima goes on and Stacy Ann goes home.

Oh, and I guess I was wrong, cause they are going overseas, to Rome.

Last week on Beauty and the Geek, the geeks got their makeover, and no one got kicked off. They did however have to pick a team to go to the elimination room this week, and they chose Joe and Tara. However, we find out that if either one wins a challenge this week, they will be safe.

Apparently, the contestants think the house is haunted, so they dress Tom up as a vampire and try to sneak in her room to scare Tara. Joe defends her honor and Randi is being so mean to him, its almost making me like him. And they even had Joe reading a Bible. Talk about swaying people’s opinions.

I wish I could get in there and slap Randi in her stupid, ugly, annoying face. I hate people who always have to be right, so they keep shouting over everyone else’s point of view. I think such people should be executed at dawn.

We find out that Matt broke his clavicle during the football game (they never said before what he broke) and so he can’t compete in the fireman challenge, but Leticia gets to compete in his place.

The challenge was kinda fun, cause they had to get dressed as firemen, put out a fire in a barrel, then climb a fire escape ladder and convince the chick to jump down two stories. Joe and Tara were first and he did it in 4 minutes 40 seconds.

Greg and Randi - 5 minutes 10 seconds
Jason and Kristina - 7 minutes 25 seconds
Leticia and Matt - 8 minutes and 4 seconds (she just couldn’t attach the hose to the hydrant and it ate up all her time)
Chris and Cara - 3 minutes 29 seconds
Tom and Amanda - 3 minutes 22 seconds

So Tom and Amanda won!

The girls challenge is about garbage and math. They have to find recyclable cans and bottles in a huge pile of garbage. The cans and the bottles are worth a certain amount each, and they have to make them add up to $5 exactly to win. Kristina won, which is funny, since she didn’t seem like she could count.

Tom, Amanda, Jason and Kristina have to pick another team to go into elimination. I hope its Randi and Greg. Yes!!!! It is, it is! OK, I was way too excited about that, wasn’t I? I am a little sorry about Greg, cause he’s a sweetie, but whatever.

So into elimination - Tara answers the first question correctly, Joe answers the second correctly. Randi got the next one, so it was two to one.

I was actually rooting for Joe. I never thought I would do that. The third question Joe started to answer but messed up. Greg had no idea, so they asked one more question for the geeks, which Joe got right. He did apologize to Randi, but being the low class chick she is, she couldn’t even accept his apology. Good riddance to her.

Last week on America’s Next Top Model, we lost Clare. Let’s hope this week its Dominique. She has consistently gotten on my nerves since the first week. I’m sure this week will be no exception.

It turns out this episode is just a recap of what has happened since the beginning. It was pretty dull, cause I saw it all before and I didn’t care that much. I wanted to see new stuff. Sure, there were some clips that we hadn’t seen before, but it was all about stuff that was of the past. I don’t get why they needed to do an episode like this right now. Things were just starting to get going and now they stopped all the action and made us go back and look at people who are gone. If they’re gone, I don’t care about them anymore. Maybe it because when Kim left in the beginning, they also let someone go, so they had a week to waste now. But I wish they hadn’t wasted it on me.

One of Dominique’s amazingly incoherent and annoying statements: “I wanna be like freaking Mother Theresa, but in a diva kinda way, okay?” What does that even mean?? Apparently, she want to be an evil benefactor.

We did get to see a couple of the firemen (from that one runway class) show off their walk. Also, they had a wrestling show down, probably brought on from too much underage drinking, which we hadn’t seen before, and it seemed like they got a little violent. But I’m sure it was all in fun. We did get to see them have fun in the house, taking pics of themselves posing, Marvita walking around naked and playing and singing (with a remarkable lack of talent), and just hang out and laugh. That was interesting.

So, all in all, this week was an hour out of my life that I’m never getting back.

It’s makeover week on Beauty and the Geek. The makeover is always a favorite episode of mine on America’s Next Top Model, mostly cause there’s always a meltdown. And that never stops being funny. Apparently, the way they end up looking has something to do with the next challenge. I love how they like to be tricky on this show.

I could have guessed that Joe would be the biggest baby about it all, and I’m a little bit sorry that Jim is gone, cause it would have been interesting to see if they shaved him and cut his hair short. It’s a little scary to me that they let them pick what they will wear and how they will look. You can only hope the chicks have good enough taste that they are able to tell them what’s good for them.

What was the deal with the body waxing?? Apparently, manly body hair isn’t sexy. The little bit of sexy hair sneaking out at the top of my husband’s shirt was what initially attracted me to him. Um, is that too much information?

The Makeover:
Greg was cute. He did look much more sure of himself.
Tommy looked hot. I always thought he was kinda cute but he ended up looking good.
Matt still looked like Matt. To me anyway. It’s probably the glasses.
Chris looked really different.
Jason looked like an executive or something in that suit.
Joe almost looked cute and much younger, as well. He was unhappy, but he shouldn’t have been.

The Challenge: To write and perform a romantic scene based on the Prom. The winner gets to go the premiere of Prom Night.

They are judged by a couple of people from the Young and the Restless. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this show, but I didn’t recognize the two actors who they picked from the show. Plus, their acting skills were not too great. I mean the soap actors. As for the Beauties and the Geeks, they were pretty bad, but not far off from a typical soap actor, actually. Some of them weren’t too bad. And Matt got to kiss Leticia.

Matt and Leticia were the winners, which is nice for them, cause they don’t have to go back into the elimination room. As it turns out, they aren’t going to send anyone into elimination this week, cause no one is leaving. They also get to pick a couple to go out on the town with them and they pick Randi and Greg.

But there is some bad news. One of the four couples who is left, has to decide to go into the elimination room next week. I told you this show was tricky. They decide to have a cross dressing fashion show challenge, which was just silly. And in the end they put Joe and Tara into elimination, cause everyone is tired of Joe. As am I.

Once again, this week on America’s Next Top Model, Dominique has managed to annoy me in like the first 3 minutes. Also, I wasn’t impressed with the way Lauren was acting over the coffee thing with Fatima.

Watching the girls on the go-sees, I just wonder why they let such immature kids out into the world on their own. They just seem so incapable of even finding their way around. Although, I have to admit that this group did better than some of the past groups have done. I felt sorry for Whitney at that first go-see, when they told her they only used size 2 models. They may think size 10 is plus sized, but to me it’s small. I’d be thrilled to get into a size 10. Of course, I’m not a model.

I was glad that Whitney’s team won the challenge, although I did wish Dominique wasn’t part of it. I want to remember to look out for the June issue of Seventeen magazine so I can see the ad they shot. I’m not gonna buy it, you understand, I’ll just check it out at the library.

The water shoot seemed like fun, but then I began to wonder if they changed the water between each shoot, cause other wise they are all lying in each other’s dirty water. Yuck. The photos looked really cool, though.

In one of my earlier reviews, I gave my first impressions of the girls, so I thought this week I’d give my current impressions:

Clare - just tries too hard and keeps missing the boat.
Stacy Ann - doesn’t seem to have any drive.
Katarzyna - really just doesn’t show any personality.
Whitney - definitely my favorite, but might have a bit of a chip on her shoulder about being plus-sized.
Dominique - is way, way, way too full of herself.
Fatima - beautiful, and seems to have learned from her past experiences on the show.
Anya - seems too quiet, so you don’t have any idea who she is.
Lauren - just too awkward and gawky.

So into panel, the girls were called in this order: Fatima, Anya, Katarzyna, Whitney, Stacy Ann, Dominique.

Bottom Two: Lauren and Clare. And Clare is out. I guess it was pretty obvious, since this was her second week in a row in the Bottom Two.

This week, on Beauty and the Geek, they quickly resolved the issue, left over from last week, of who was staying and who was going, starting out with Tara’s agonized decision of choosing Joe over Jonathan. Personally, I would have kept Jonathan, but that’s just me. Jonathan did seem fairly comfortable with the idea of going back home to his mommy, though, so I guess it was all OK. Question: Who cares if someone has a huge heart anyway? They all kept talking about it, and I wonder if its just the only way stupid chicks feel they can relate to ugly guys. Whatever.

So the Beauties and Geeks, now in teams of two, have their first challenge as couples. For the girls, its a science project, and for the guys, its having to give love advice on Dr. Drew’s radio call in show. Now, I’m gonna be honest with you. Although I did watch this show, it was late. I had just finished watching American Idol and Hell’s Kitchen and was reviewing my AI blog, so I wasn’t maybe paying as close attention as I should have been to the action on the screen. But the show seemed kinda boring to me.

However, watching them trying to be comfortable outside of their own spheres, I was proud of them. And a little frightened. I did find myself wishing Cara would go soon, cause her little baby voice is making me want to puke. But still, the way some of those girls were able to learn and explain about volcanoes, earthquakes and electricity, and the guys give love advice, it made me think people can change and learn. Even Cara, who had to ask Chris if we live on the outside of the Earth, and Tom, who didn’t know what “sexually active” meant. Not that all of them really got it, but some of them did pretty well. Joe, however, still talks too much.

The Beauty challenge winner was Cara and the Geek winner was Tom, which made Chris and Cara and Tom and Amanda safe. The couples that went into elimination were Jim and Tiffany and Matt and Leticia. I felt a little sorry for Jim, who put out there on national TV that he had never kissed a girl, and then when he asked Tiffany, she said “no.” In a way, she got paid back when she was completely unable to answer even one question before Leticia. But still, with everyone crying all over the place, it was hard to dislike either girl enough to want to see them go home. In the end, Leticia pulled Matt through with her, by answering all three of her questions correctly, when he never even buzzed in to answer at all, letting Jim get two right in a row. So Jim and Tiffany go home. But I couldn’t help wondering what kind of unbeatable team Leticia and Jim would make if instead of letting a couple go, they just let go the two people who didn’t answer any questions. But I guess the world will never know.

I hope Tiffany kissed Jim goodbye.